No More

This blog has run its course and will no longer be updated. I have enjoyed it, but it is time to move on. Thanks for you readership. Check out the new blog at Periodic Thought.

Results

I don't know if I would call the visit with my neurologist productive, but there were results. My Tegretol level was decreased back to my May levels of 700 mg/day, and another drug was added to the regiment, Topamax. Topamax works differently than Tegretol and does not have the liver and blood side effects that Tegretol has. It inhibits different receptors in the brain. I will go into this more later. It is too early to judge effectiveness, but what I can say is that I feel like a cloud has been lifted from my brain, and I have an appetite. We will see what the next few days and weeks bring. I am sure as the Topamax level increases and the Tegretol level decreases there will be changes.

The First Stage of Change

Monday is the first day of my fall semester, and I am looking forward to it. I am taking Inorganic and Physical Chemistry. Considering I was not able to take any chemistry classes last semester, having a semester full is good news for me. I also found out that my level is too high (or has been) and that is what is making me sick. In other words, my last dose increase caused the level of medicine in my blood to be higher than it has possibly ever been. I feel better today than I did yesterday, but I have not taken my morning dose yet. The level was/is not high enough to be toxic, just high enough to make me sick as hell. This is going to dealt with soon (Tues).

To anyone who has recently dealt with me on a regular basis, I am sorry that I have been intolerable, short tempered, angry, frustrated, pissed off, and half awake. At least I know it has not all been in my head.

Focus!

I find writing helps focus my thoughts. If I write "it' out, whatever "it" may be, then I have a starting point.

My problem is that I feel like shit. I have for a good month or so. I have epilepsy, and have taken medication to control my seizures for about 10 years. The medication has done well for me...until recently. About a month ago I had a seizure. It was totally unexpected. My medication level had fallen pretty low, and that was the problem. I called my neurologist, she told me to take more, and then have blood drawn to verify the level. The level was not high enough, so I took more medication and had more blood drawn. The medication was still not high enough, so I took more medication and had more blood drawn. The medication level was still not high enough and was actually lower than the previous level. So guess what is next? That is right more medication and another blood draw.

But now I am sick. I have no appetite, I am angry at everything, I am confused, unable to focus, and just plain miserable. I am taking over twice the medication I was taking a month ago and I feel like crap. I don't know what is next, but I hope it makes me feel better. I am going to yell at the dog to make myself feel better.*

*For all the pug lovers out there, that was a joke.

All About the Bike (part 2)

This is a continuation of the blog entry All About the Bike.

If I were asked to describe how my mind works, I would say that it works like an old fashioned ice cream churn. There are many ideas, situations, theories, and events that keep rolling over and over in my mind. Then something gels and I have an epiphany. I am always surprised how simple revelations turn out to be a big deal for me. Revelations like knowing that I do not desire to be a crit racer. And, just because you own a road bike does not mean that you have certain persona to maintain. I want cycling to be exercise, but I also wan it to be fun. I also believe that cycling as an alternative mode of transportation is a great idea. St. Charles does not have the best cycling infrastructure (it really has close to zero) but you can use a bike in certain circumstances and there is no reason not to do it.

Great! I have one less thing my cluttered mind needs to think about. Now I can feel free to ride easily and peacefully (with my wife). I can ride the Katy Trail, and relax while doing it because I do not need to keep my bike spotlessly clean or maintain a minimum cadence or mph. It is a very relaxing feeling. Feelings aside, a road bike is not the best bike to have on the trail. Sure, the components on the bike are a benefit, but the tires are really too thin. I am going to purchase new tires for my wife and I's bikes. The tires are going to be a little wider and a little thicker, but the same diameter. The new tires will allow us to ride wherever we want, and not just on the road.

I am looking foreword to riding with my wife again. I am sure there will be many bike adventures to come.

All About the Bike (part 1)

I love cycling. For the past few years it has had a special place in my heart. I have had a difficult time deciding what kind of cyclist I am, however. This is my story.

A couple of years ago I was introduced to road bikes and criterium racing. The road bike was appealing, the racing not so much. So I bought a road bike, rode it a lot and loved it. My wife bought a road road bike, rode it a few times and decided that she was not riding with me because I was too serious. She liked the idea of biking, but not the type of biking I was doing. The more I rode, the more competitive I became. But then came the dilemma. How bad did I want to race? My bike, a decent road bike, was not race ready. If I was going to race I would need a set of race wheels. Race wheels are expensive. After looking around, I found it would be a better decision to just buy a new bike. A new bike would be a big investment, especially since I hadn't owned my current road bike for more than a year. If I bought a new bike I would need to use most of my extra free time for training and/or racing to validate its purchase and to keep myself race fit. There was another small problem. I work weekends. When are the races? Weekends. It could be done with careful planning. What I ended up deciding is that I didn't want to race that bad. And if I didn't want to race that bad, why should I put all the hours into the long rides I was doing? I had a dilemma. I still wanted to ride though. But if I wasn't a racer, I was a road biker without a cause.

To be continued...

Endings and Beginnings

Last weekend some family come in from out of town, and I was able to spend time with my niece (4) and nephew (7). This was an interesting experience since my wife and I do not have kids, and do not interact with kids AT ALL. But the kids were great and were actually a lot of fun. My sister is raising the kids well. It was nice to have a family get together.

My family is close in a distant sort of way. We don't see each other often, but we talk on a semi-regular basis. It has actually been four years since my immediate family has gotten together, like in the same room. The last time was at my dad's funeral. He died in 2004. My immediate family consists of 4 kids and my mom. Everyone has seen each other separately, but we have not gotten together as a family unit since the funeral. I have to admit...it has been just over 2 years since I have seen my sister (she lives a few states away). It was a nice way to end the summer.



But now it's on. Next week my wife starts school. The week after that, I start school. We have our books (most of them) ordered and on the way. The supplies are bought, and the house will probably get one more good cleaning. This is going to be a big year for me. After this year, all I will need is one more class to graduate. I will take my GRE's,(chemistry specific and general), probably take the MCAT, and next year at this time I will be sending out graduate school applications. I am going to really concentrate on doing well this year. I have done pretty well up to this point, but this is the year I need to make it happen. I am looking forward to my classes. They are mostly chemistry classes. Considering I did not take one chemistry class last year and I am a chem major, it was a bum year. This year is all chemistry and one physics class.